In last week’s article, we talked about how to identify your strengths and lead with them. Leading with your strengths is the first part of the equation to providing maximum value to others. The second part of the equation involves your skills, passions, and values.

Strengths + (Skills + Passions + Values) = Value to Others

As opposed to strengths (which are natural attributes), a skill is something you have actually learned, honed your ability, and have experience doing that provides a benefit. Skills can be difficult to articulate because it’s not necessarily a natural strength, but something you’ve spent time and energy developing to the point where it is of value to someone or something. A great way to think about a skill is the question WIFT:

“What’s in it for them?”

When somebody asks you what skills you have, you want to respond in a way hat expressed the answer to the WIFT question. By doing so, you go beyond just thinking about yourself, and consider what tools you have and how they are valuable to others (your company, the marketplace, the world, etc.)

For example, when asked what skill someone has, a common response is that they are a “people person.” That answer is weak. It provides nothing about how that skill is of use or value to somebody else. A better way to articulate being a “people person” as a skill is to say “you connect with other human beings immediately, which leads to stronger teams and client relationships.” That is communicating your value. That is a skill. Again, instead of saying you are “punctual,” explain this skillset in terms of WIFT: “I am calm, reliable, and always available to offer support. I am the type of person who is up to speed on deadlines and meetings. I’ll never make you wait or stress, which will allow you to focus on the things that matter most and increase effectiveness and productivity.”

As a business, using the WIFT method to describe skills allows you to communicate clearly to your customers and clients, while also authentically aligning your personal skills to connect better with others and get results for your company.

Passions—They Matter

At launchbox, we don’t believe in hiding your passions and personal interests in the workplace. What defines you at work, defines you personally, and vice versa. The people who are disconnected from what lights them up and makes them hear sing (passions) are the ones who are unfulfilled, stuck, and/or disconnected from their work, organization, or life in general. Identifying and understanding your passions is important because in order to have a great career and be of maximum value, you must align your work with what drives you personally. By seeing where your passions and work/life are out of alignment, you can gain clarity on what you need to do to fix this, and therefore make the changes to increase your happiness and drive.

Often times, people say, “What if I don’t know what my passion is?” I encourage you to forget the word “passion.” Instead, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are you curious about?
  • What makes your heart sing?
  • What makes you lose track of time?
  • What would you do if money was no object?

Answer each of these questions. These are your passions!

Values

Values are your real-deal-no-BS-what-you-are-made-of principles or standards of behavior. Here are some examples of my own personal values:

  • Empowering others to make a difference
  • Creating value for others and enabling their growth
  • Making meaningful connections

The best path toward shaving a great career is aligning you personal values with a company’s values. The best companies that stand the test of time are the ones that have a clear set of values they live and die by. For example, look at Zappos. They have their “Zappos Family Core Values,” which the company continuously uses to develop its culture, brand, and business strategies.

Zappos Family Core Values

  1.  Deliver WOW through service.
  2. Embrace and drive change.
  3. Create fun and a little weirdness.
  4. Be adventurous, creative, and open-minded.
  5. Pursue growth and learning.
  6. Build open and honest relationships with communication.
  7. Build a positive team and family spirit.
  8. Do more with less.
  9. Be passionate and determined.
  10. Be humble.

Don’t you just love these values? It makes you want to say “duh” when you read the list. Many of these values overlap with mine, and so many others, which have allowed me to have a great career. However, as great as the Zappos values are, you don’t want to adopt theirs. You want to look within yourself and think about what makes you and your company the best versions you can be. Those are your values.

Take the time to identify your values. Pay attention to what you personally care about—what drives you—and use them to express your business values. That’s how you articulate your real-deal-no-BS-what-you-are-made-of principles and standards of behavior. Now, you have the ultimate equation for providing value to others. Whether it be family, friends, bosses, colleagues, business partners, etc., it doesn’t matter…the equation works: Strengths + (Skills + Passions + Values) = Value to Others

Want to know more about how you can kick ass in work and life?

“We all have a life story and a message that can inspire others to live a better life or run a better business. Why not use that story and message to serve others and grow a real business doing it?” – Brendon Burchard

What do the most powerful movies, influential books, and engaging communicators all have in common?

They tell a great story.

From ancient cave drawings and religious texts, to Shakespeare and the best series on Netflix, we learn from, and are inspired by, the art of storytelling. The best businesses market through telling stories. The best public speakers connect with us through telling stories. And in order for all of us to be our best, we must be in the story business.

No matter how charming or charismatic you are (or are not), no matter what industry you’re in, being able to tell your story is a must to perform at your best. The art of story telling allows you to convey who you are, what you stand for, what skills you have, and how you can help others in an engaging way so that people want to listen. In order to connect deeper in your personal and professional life, you must learn to communicate who you are in a way that’s interesting and authentic—a.k.a. through delivering your story.

In the past few articles in this series, we have identified your skills, values, passions, and personal brandstamp. These are all the important elements that will help you define your story so you can create relevance and connect deeper with others. The secret to success in building relationships (the #1 most important skill in business) is sharing clear, concise information that conveys your values through a great story. This allows you to build connection and rapport with anyone—customers, managers, employees, coworkers, etc.

Boring presentations are bogged down with dull information. Fascinating presentations have drama and arcs. If you look at the most popular TEDx talks, you’ll notice they have many common threads:

  • They build trust and credibility
  • They create common ground and connect on a deeper emotional level (humor, awe, inspirational, etc.)
  • They give meaning to their journey and make us feel like we’re on it too
  • They show humility and wisdom
  • They inspire action

You can take away some of these common traits to tell your own great story using emotion, humor, irony, self-deprecation, and drama.

I probably tell 50 stories a day, using each one to make a point to the audience or person I’m speaking with. Whether it’s a Q & A for a corporation, I’m out at dinner with a friend, on a phone call with business partner, or simply out and about, there is a right moment to tell a specific story. You don’t just want to spill out any random story, especially if it’s the wrong situation.

Whether you’re speaking to a room of 100 people or your friend at the park, keep the following tips in mind:

  • Take the temperature before sharing: who is my audience and what’s the vibe like?
  • What does this person need? How can I share something they will understand, relate to, and as a result lean in…Is it info about a customer? A cool project? A meaningful solution?
  • What is special about you and them in the moment? What brings you to together? What bonds do you share? How can you connect to win them over?

The key is using what you have in the moment, and making it relevant (whether it’s a news story or a funny incident that happened during breakfast, it doesn’t matter.) If you’re struggling, there are some common topics that are almost always winners: kids, puppies, sports, and culture.

You can practice the art of great storytelling by paying more attention to the events in your everyday life and asking yourself, how can I bring the things that happen in my life and share them through story-telling to create connected relationships? The more you practice, the better you get. And the more skilled you get, the better you will be able to deliver your own story.

Putting together the puzzle pieces of your story

At launchbox, we’ve trained thousands of millennials and managers on how to tell their own unique story through exercises, workshops, and coaching. Here are three essential questions we’ve distilled that can help you put together the foundation of your own story:

  1. Who am I? Where was I born? Where do I come from? Who is my family? What is my background—my family identity? What am I grateful for? What and who have made me who I am?
  2. What is my experience? What work have I done? What am I inspired and motivated by? What am I passionate for and about? What have I had to overcome, and what are my triumphs?
  3. What value do I bring? What am I good at? What are my special skills? What has made me unique and special? Why do people love me, and what do I do to maintain that? What kind of attitude do I have? What can I do for others? What about me makes me successful that is not about my technical experience?

Look for overlapping connections with your skills, values, and passions. And remember: your story is not a word-for-word script. It is simply a framework for understanding yourself in a manner that allows you to interact with people and communicate who you are. It is a human connection currency.

Obviously, you don’t want to puke out your entire life story and bore somebody to death. You will probably share little parts of your story here and there when communicating with someone. Always keep in mind the specific situation and gauge how much you feel called to share. It’s like building a block tower. Start with the base blocks, and as you connect deeper and talk more, you can add the middle and top layers of your story.

Lastly, understand that telling your story is not bragging. In fact, the secret sauce to telling a great story is exactly the opposite. A powerful story communicates in a way that allows others to resonate with what you’re sharing. It builds trust and connection. When crafting your story, keep that in mind. It’s not so much “what” happened to you, but learning to convey the significance of events and allowing others to feel your emotions (the common ground that ties us all together.)

Curious to learn more about how you can deliver a kickass story in the workplace and life? Check out Chasing Relevance: 6 Steps to Understand, Engage, and Maximize Next-Generation Leaders in the Workplace .

“Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid.” – Albert Einstein

This classic quote from Einstein reveals an important lesson in both business and life: everybody has different strengths, and in order for all of us to perform our best and excel, we must recognize and utilize our strengths. Gary Vaynerchuk, serial entrepreneur and host of the Daily Vee on YouTube, is also known for his forthright comments on the importance of understanding strengths:

“Bet on your strengths and don’t give a fuck about your weaknesses. You have to understand your own personal DNA. Don’t do things because I do them or Steve Jobs or Mark Cuban tried it. You need to know your personal brand and stay true to it.”

At Launchbox, we tell all our clients: “In order to know how to build, sustain, and maintain great relationships, we must understand the strengths of ourselves and others and how to leverage them effectively. Focus on your strengths—not weaknesses!”

Ok, so you get it now: knowing your strengths is super important. But the reality is most people don’t stop and take a moment to identify their best strengths. Do you know yours? If so, take a moment and write down your top five strengths. There are great online assessments that can help you identify your strengths. (Gallup’s groundbreaking Clifton Strengthsfinder is one that I’ve used and highly recommend. Based on decades of research and experience, Strengthsfinder is an inexpensive yet highly evolved tool for helping people discover their unique combination of strengths.)

If you don’t feel like taking the online test, a great way to find out is to ask the five people closest to you. Text or call them and ask if they’ll tell you what your top five strengths are. Make sure to ask them individually, so they aren’t influenced by each other’s answers.

While my strengths have evolved over the years, when I recently took the Strengths finder assessment, these were my top strengths:

  1. Activator: I make things happen by turning thoughts into action.
  2. Communication: I find it easy to put thoughts into words and am a good conversationalist and presenter.
  3. Strategic: I create alternate ways to succeed and find relevant patterns and issues in any scenario.
  4. Significance: I want to be very important and recognized in the eyes of others as making a difference.
  5. Command: I have presence and want to take control and make decisions.

Once you understand your strengths, you can be conscious of them and make the choice to lead with them. This is how you kick ass. This is how you deliver value to yourself and others in a way that makes a real, quantifiable difference to everyone you interact with. Here are three questions you can ask yourself to leverage your strengths as much as possible:

  1. Where do I kick ass?
  2. I could kick more ass if . . .
  3. Where do I wish I kicked ass?

It’s important to get comfortable with your strengths so you are not going against your true nature. If you kick ass at filming and editing and love it, but you feel like you “should” be good at engineering because that’s what “everyone else is doing,” stop and do some self-reflection. Remember what Einstein said: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” You are more valuable to your peers, a company, and the marketplace doing video and editing. Why? Because you excel at it and enjoy doing it.

Naturally, people prosper in areas they enjoy (a.k.a their strengths.) Don’t judge yourself based on anyone else’s Instagram or Snapchat or what seems cool. If you are a fish, stick to swimming. If you are a squirrel, stick to climbing trees. Look within yourself, identify what you enjoy and excel at, and lead with those strengths. Not only will your peers benefit, but you will feel much more passionate and motivated about work you enjoy doing.

Curious to know more about discovering and leading from your strengths? Stay tuned for the next article in this series, geared to help you kick ass in work and life. In the meantime, you can check out Chasing Relevance: 6 Steps to Understand, Engage, and Maximize Next-Generation Leaders in the Workplace